My pitch for a Reality TV Show

Ok, we have 'pastors' looking for noteriety by burning books held as holy doctrine by other faiths and the religious stupid keep banging on about how important the Bible is in telling us how to live our lives.

Even my locval Jehovanhs Witness Kingdom Hall is getting in on the act with a talk on; " Bible Principles, can they help us with todays problems?" I am willing to bet that they think they can.

I so want to turn up to that meeting (after all I am invited) with my male slave dressed in leather and on a lead. After all God doesn't have a problem with his people owning slaves. But he does have a problem with man-on-man love, namely anal sex. It is forbidden in Leviticus (twice) along with round haircuts, eating shellfish and the wearing of mixed fibres.

Perhaps I should turn up with a female slave, after all, womern are seen pretty much as property in the good book. Eve got us in to this mess in the first place and since then, women have had to know their place. They can be killed, raped and tortured under biblical law. If a woman is raped, she has to marry her rapist;

"If a man is caught in the act of raping a young woman who is not engaged, he must pay fifty pieces of silver to her father. Then he must marry the young woman because he violated her, and he will never be allowed to divorce her."

I could go on but here's the pitch. Find a bible-belt nutjob religious community something like Westboro and give them amnesty from the law of the land. Let them take their holy book into their own 'gated' community and get on with it. The men will be on a power trip, the women even more abused, the children damaged for life.

Drop a few weirdos in there as well, perhaps some people wanting redemption and if you want it to get really interesting have some other faiths in the mix. If there is some conflict, put it out to a public vote as to who gets stoned to death or has their hand cut off. We could even have a panel of 'Scholars' on TV each week to provide spiritual guidance (God seems to have lost interest lately). Would Anjam Choudray be the new Simon Cowell?

Some good must come from it. Religious people will surely wake up to the contradictory, sadistic, nasty piece of work for what the Abrahamic holy books are. Or will they continue to live the lie so they can look forward to eternal life?

"Dancing on Ice" could become "Dicing with Death". What do you think?

My request to indoctrinate in Rotherham Town Centre

From: Bloom1
Sent: 21 August 2010 16:40
To: info@rotherhamtowncentre.co.uk
Subject: Event on Saturday 21 August in Town Centre

Hi Rotherham Town Centre

I am writing to enquire about hiring a spot in Rotherham town centre. I see you had a full blown gospel outfit there today making lots of noise and preaching about they found Jesus. Unfortunately I wasn’t able to hang around for too long as it was a bit on the loud side and hearing is not good at the best of times.

Are any religious groups allowed book a slot to do this? I feel that the issue of religion is not being addressed in the way that it should and would love to put on a similar event so that my congregation can become more proactive in putting the important messages to people who may not have read or fully understood the Bible. As you may be aware, this holy book on which our Country’s faith was built, condemns homosexuality as a sin and has clear messages about how women should behave what should happen to people who worship false idols. We feel that there is not enough contemplation given to these issues in the modern age. We also have t-shirts and balloons and our own public address system and are ready to roll.

Would you please let me know how I can secure a booking and what paperwork I need to fill in. Can it be done online? I appreciate that you may have to give equal space to the different denominations of Christianity, the other Abrahamic faiths and various other ‘groups’ that have a different god but I hope we will be able to arrange something before the end of the Summer.

Yours hopefully

Mr Bloom.


Dear Mr. Bloom

Thank you for your email and interest in holding an event in Rotherham town centre. May I suggest for us to arrange a meeting to discuss the type of event you wish to hold and whether it would be feasible. The Events & Promotions team who would deal with the event are currently organising the Rotherham Show so will be unavailable until afterwards. Therefore could you confirm your availability for w/c 13th September. I realise this is a few weeks away but the team need a reasonable lead-in period and the show is a priority at the moment. In the meantime please complete the attached application form and email, fax to 01709 837953 or post to: Retail Investment Team, 5th Floor, Phoenix Business Centre, 18 High Street, Rotherham, S60 1PP.

If you need any further information, please don’t hesitate to contact me.

Kind regards

Catherine

________________________________________